Fading Heart Beats

Sitting and waiting.
This is all he knows.
As this life unfolds,
tomorrow seems to only bring less hope.
What he has done,
the sins that haunt him;
he can not sleep.
All he can do is bleed.
Torn between this life, this reality.
Between being what he is,
and what he could be.
It's not fucking easy.
He tries to change,
But the changing ways just bring bleeding days.
He's fucking falling apart
with the situation thats in effect.
Because what changing him isn't sincere.
It's all fucking confused,
He feels like hes being abused.
Is it love? Was it ever love?
Seems in the dark we all change.
For in the public eye it's never the same.
Can this not be for the right reasons?
Can he not live a day without the world killing his faith?
Withered; he's not speaking.
Not for the drama to unfold.
withered; soon he won't be breathing;
for all the pain and suffering, day by day;
will this shit ever change?
Being forced to stay back,
he can't have his own way.
Why? because he abandons her.
But shes so confused, she doesn't
even know what she wants.
So why should he stick around?
To see what could have been?
But then again, that could also
show that his pain and suffering
was for nothingness.
He can't handle that shit.
He wants to give up and quit,
for she shows no interest
beyond what falls in secret.
He has know hope,
he has no reason.
He's in the trenches of all paradoxes.
Living is pointless.